Thursday, 13 May 2010

Claiming victory...

A couple of weeks back I went out with a group of friends to a Jazz Cafe here in Lome. It's a really nice place to go sit and enjoy some chilled jazz music. And we had a lovely time together. Some of my friends started dancing, which was great fun. I decided to stay sitting and watch from afar. I'm not really a great dancer and generally avoid it. So I was happy to stay by our table and laugh at the antics of my friends on the dance-floor.

But it was in this situation that the evil one decided to spring an attack on my core being. He planted thoughts in my mind. My negative side began to tell me that "There must be something wrong with you, if you can't dance." "Look how much fun they're having - you're missing out." "Look how popular guys who can dance are - you'll never be that popular." Internally I was beating myself up. It was a spiritual attack on my very being. And so in short I was being told that I was a failure. That I wasn't worth it. That I was alone in this battle.

I'm amazed how subtle the enemy can be. Our very thoughts can turn against us. A really fun evening turned into one which I loathed. And because of this, I was rather short and snappy with my friends, which made them wonder what was wrong with me.

In my depressed state I told myself, "I'm never coming back here again." And that's exactly what Satan wants me to think. He wants me to be isolated and vulnerable. But if I do that don't I let him steal the victory? The victory that Jesus won on the cross - a victory that is rightfully mine. And Jesus wants me to claim this victory. To be more than a conqueror. To defeat my negative self-image and get victory over my doubts.

Through this experience I have discovered that this side of me has always been there - albeit under the surface waiting to strike. So I make a choice to claim back that victory. I choose to not let negativity gain a foothold and thus allow the enemy a chance to strike. I choose Jesus. And so, having this knowledge,

[I] take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
(2 Corinthians 10: 5b)

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